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Limited Run R-rated Version He Loves Your Ass: He’s Gonna Do it! / Men’s Tee

Regular price $21.12 Sale (More designs 👇)

A: width18"20"22"24"26"28"30"32"
B: length28"29"30"31"32"33"34"35"
A: width16"17"18"19"20"
B: length20½"22"23½"25"26½"

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Before you order this shirt, recognize that it’s an R-rated joke and has a NSFW graphic in one of the letters. If you don’t know what NSFW means, don’t order. If you don’t know what a “balloon knot,” is you almost certainly should’t order it. But maybe...

When I read that impeachment testimony next week will include a Sondland aide testifying his boss told Trump, “[Zelensky] loves your ass...he’s going to do it,” I had the same dirty thought you did and grappled deep into my soul, dizzy with the realization this is what our political discourse has come to.

But I quickly regained composure and realized tI had to find a fontfor the title of an  imaginary erotic gay movie, “He’s Gonna Do It!” 

When I finished, I was a little disappointed #LovesYourAss had actually not penetrated the Twittersphere as much as I’d hoped, and I struggled with a little bit of shame.

After messaging a few tweeps, I decided to wait until the testimony next week before setting up more garment styles. Then I decided to make this version including the leather cheerio I’d played with to see what happens. 

Hopefully next week, the phases in the design will be enter the popular consciousness and be fully accepted into our popular culture. Maybe, I hoped, next week, the design will seem as unsurprising as a redheaded Lucille marrying a zesty cubano. 

The version of the design that might be available next week will look something like this:

— Erik
Authentic American

P.S. What the...


Gildan 5000 Heavy Cotton Short Sleeve T-Shirt

  • 5.3 ounce cotton
  • all colors are 100% cotton except Sports Grey, which is 90% cotton and 10% polyester
  • preshrunk
  • seamless collar
  • taped neck and shoulders
  • double-needle sleeve and bottom hems keep your shirt looking great

We Get Letters

  • Pretty colors and vibrant kitty print. 💜 Mine just arrived.
    ❄️ NoDak Snowflake
  • I got one bc I'm into #reality not #RealityTV
    Jenny F. ,
    Los Angeles
  • Ordering mine now! Impeachment can't come soon enough!
  • Thanks so much for your PROMPT and personal reply to my questions. Thanks also for the discount code. Excellent customer service!
    Magalia, CA
  • We are so excited to see businesses like yours popping up around the country. You are providing a real service by giving voice to folks like us.
    John & Jan
    Eugene, OR
  • Thanks. I love the shirt!
    Syracuse NY
  • just opened the package this minute! everything including size seems perfect. thanks so much.
    Haddon Township, NJ
  • I am looking forward to showing off my t-shirt to all my friends! I hope to get back to you with additional orders.
    Clarkesville, TN
  • The T’s look great!!!
    Aurora, CO
  • Got one for my husband's birthday. He loves it! Very quick delivery, too. I was impressed.
    Berea, OH
  • Just got my PUSSY CAT tee in the mail today and just luv it💜
A: width18"20"22"24"26"28"30"32"
B: length28"29"30"31"32"33"34"35"
A: width16"17"18"19"20"
B: length20½"22"23½"25"26½"